Loss- #OpenBook Blog Hop

We've all experienced loss, what is a loss that has really struck you? Compare losing someone you knew with someone you didn't, and your thoughts on how it affected you.

Loss comes in many forms and many sizes. Everything from losing a loved one to breaking a treasured memento. I've seen a lot of shit in my life, and I grieve in different ways depending upon the circumstances.

While I don't think I handle grief well, I also don't like to show it. For little things, sure, I have my moment and then I move on. For the big things, not so much.

For one thing, I don't like to show my sorrow to other people. I prefer to do my crying in private. Although when I present my strong, outer shell to the world, I'm mourning inside. Or, I shut down my own emotions altogether until I reach a point when I can no longer avoid them.

Sometimes, I worry that it makes me look cold to people who are more willing to show their feelings. But I've also decided that it doesn't matter. I know how I feel, and that's what's important.

For example, when my father died, I kept working until the day of my flight back home, despite my boss's "hints" that I could take the time off.  But work helped me to avoid acknowledging my feelings until I was ready too. And that was several months later.

 In fact, the true depth of my loss didn't hit me until several months later when my favorite uncle died. Soon after, one night when I was alone, I started crying quietly. I thought it was strange that I was crying for my uncle when I hadn't cried that much for my father, but then realized I was mourning the both of them. And most of the tears were for my dad. So I allowed myself to cry some more.

Now (several years later) I can look back at memories of both men and allow myself both happiness and sadness. It's not as odd of a combination as you might think. I can smile when I talk about my dad while my heart hurts a little.



August 27, 2018

We've all experienced loss, what is a loss that has really struck you? Compare losing someone you knew with someone you didn't, and your thoughts on how it affected you.

Rules:
1. Link your blog to this hop.
2. Notify your following that you are participating in this blog hop.
3. Promise to visit/leave a comment on all participants' blogs.
4. Tweet/or share each person's blog post. Use #OpenBook when tweeting.
5. Put a banner on your blog that you are participating.

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